Like clockwork my tears find their way down my cheeks, gathering speed as they go, finally freed for their seven seconds of fame. And then with a wipe of the back of my hand they die, only to be followed by those still in captivity. It's like a giant slip 'n' slide and the lines keep getting longer. Everyone wants a turn. I guess I can't blame them-every tear should have its day.
I try to be strong and for the most part I think I do a fair job, but let's not forget that I'm actually a sucker for emotions. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Much as I try to play it off like "Oh hey, how'd that get there?", there's no doubt that my heart has to battle the elements outside the cozy little nest in my chest. It's not a baby heart, it's a bruised heart, a big heart. It's fragile yes, but only because it gets tossed around sometimes. But it always bounces back. Always finds its rythm.
However, it's almost inevitable that saying goodbye to someone will kick my heart's ass. UFC. Tap out. It completely rocks me to my core. I can't help but grieve for the friendship, even though it's not necessarily ending. Initially saying goodbye sounds like the worst idea ever. Why? We've got such a good thing going. But not all good things last forever, or at least they don't stay the same. And it's this beautiful opportunity that gives friendship a chance to flourish. True, your experiences will be altered. You might not get the chance to work with that person ever again, make a zillion pastas side-by-side, dance in the middle of the kitchen to Sirius Hits 1. I'll never see his jacket hanging on the locker when I walk in the back door and sigh, relieved to know that the next few hours are going to be genius.
That's over. That chapter has been written. But all of those conversations, the connections that were made, the trust that was established-that stuff doesn't get lost in the story. A goodbye is a chance. It's what you do with it that defines the friendship from there. Distance is just a reminder to not get lazy. It's a challenge; work through it and the relationship will be that much greater, that much more dynamic. Zing! Distance is just a gift if you're willing to look at it that way. A new Blackberry is only useful if you learn how to use it. Otherwise, it's a screen with a bunch of buttons that costs you $150 every month. An experienced Blackberry user would tell you though that it's worth every penny-GPS, internet, and stuff I don't even know about because I don't have one. But only useful if you take the time to make the transition from your Samsung flip phone (complete with antenna for optimal reception, thank you) to a smart phone.
So be a smart friend. Let your heart do its thing. Yep, it's sad so go ahead and mourn over what you're losing but don't lose sight of what you're gaining. And wear that heart like it has nine lives. Don't tuck it away in your chest for no one to ever see, experience. Love people regardless of how much it might hurt to lose them. Love people because you know how much it would hurt to lose them. Live a full life. Invest in yourself and the people you love and never be afraid to take that heart out of its chest and let it go crazy. What doesn't kill it only makes it stronger. And once it's dead, well so are you... soo... it's not your problem anymore.
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