So that's that, then.

I almost applied to study at Seneca's Documentary Film Institute in Toronto this summer.  I wrote the mini essay, which wasn't really very formal (sentence fragments are my best friends, sorry to my former English teachers).  I finished just as I needed to leave for work so I told my computer not to do anything stupid while I was gone.  But the computer went into that sleep mode where the power is on but it's just a black screen and nothing (no amount or combination of keys pressed) will revive it out its slumber.  So whatever.  The essay deleted itself.  And part of me was angry but part of me was relieved.  Because what I wrote in the essay basically said that I enjoy stories, more intimately the faces behind every story.  And all of the mediums that we use to tell our stories.  I want to be a storyteller.  To narrate (using different art forms and mediums) my story, your story, and the Greatest Story Ever Told*.  That's what I want to do, and why would I need three months of film studies to do that?  All I need is a little bit of courage.

And isn't this the year of being fearless?

What everyone hopes to see when they open their fridge door.

Mm yeah.  Unfortunately, I only get to eat it with my eyes.

Say it with me: Day trip!

I did something stupid.  I also did something awesome!  We'll talk about that first.

I had Saturday off (Happy-Thank-You-to-Mr.-St.-Patrick-For-Driving-Out-the-Snakes-of-Ireland-Day!) and decided, practically on a whim, that I was going to drive to the city for a "day trip!" (Saying things like "day trip" make me feel, somehow, more glamorous.  I suggest you try it!)

Three hours with no iPod.  Sounds promising. (because it decided to freeze while I was updating it that morning!!!! COME ON!).  I went through many horribly mixed CDs from my high school days.

Anyway, I made it.  Had a delicious and deliciously entertaining lunch with my two cousins at a pub.  I peed at least three times while I was there.

Wait.. I meant in the bathroom.  It wasn't THAT entertaining.

We talked about books we've read and insecurities and where to find good flip flops and then I did something stupid.  I said something stupid.

I said, "Maya Angelou says that a woman's hair is her glory, but [the rest of the sentence doesn't matter]."  To which my cousin responds, "Ya, the Bible also says that."  And indeed it does.  I've never read anything by Maya Angelou, so why did I even quote her?  As soon as I said it, I was kind of bewildered.  Since when do I listen to what she says?  (Not that she doesn't have something good to say, but I don't even know because I haven't heard her speak, so whyyyyy do I even know that she said that?)

It was only awkward for me.  No one else questioned my M.A. quote.  It was a very strange moment for me, though.  A reminder to be careful about who I credit, who influences my thoughts.  I could have been kicked out of university for a stunt like that.

The rest of the day was spent on fearing for our lives on the Trans-Canada, gawking at, and still appreciating all of the Mennonite-inspired (maybe not, but certainly Mennonite-esque) dresses in Old Navy, and re-telling the Trans-Canada story to family, all while eating tortilla soup, drinking some wine (mixed with OJ and club soda for me, heh...), and taking in the sunshine.

Beautiful!  Awesome. A little stupid.  And I made it back home in good time and in one piece.  Five deer, still happily frolicking.

Vegetables & Clive Staples

What's that you say?  You've never had pizza made with a cauliflower crust? You've never dabbled in lasagna of the zucchini sort?  Shame on you.  And shame on me, until last week.  They're both delicious and a worthwhile effort if you're ..let's say.. not eating wheat for 40 days.

Courtesy of Dashing Dish!  My only advice: pre-bake the zucchini, otherwise you're eating lasagna soup which, ask my dad, is still pretty good.

Awww yeah, cauliflower.  You can't even taste the cabbage-y taste of cauliflower once it's baked.  Genius.  And you can make one yourself when you get yourself on this website!

And look what came in the mail the other day!  Woooo, happy girl over here!  I'm especially digging the rainbow effect.  I'm starting at the bottom with "Mere Christianity". 

Dumb talk about sugar withdrawals

The most hilarious part about giving up sugar and wheat for Lent?

Google searching images of "monkey bread" and just... looking at it.  It's not even an appealing thing to look at, but I know exactly how good it would taste.  I made a pumpkin torte for work today (I hate pumpkin pie but I love a good pumpkin torte) and I couldn't even partake.  I couldn't even scrape out the whipping cream bowl! Fresh whipping cream!  With cinnamon sugar sprinkles and toasted chopped pecans on top!

But you know, whatever.

And I almost ate a chocolate chip today, just because a box of them were sitting near me at work.  And I almost ate a crouton yesterday.  My body is subconsciously on a ravenous hunt for wheat-y sugar stuff.  The box of cinnamon Life cereal in my cupboard that no one else eats?  Taunts me.

But I'm making up for it by eating massive amounts of potato chips and using Spanish rice in every meal I possibly can. Ole! (with the accent on the "e" but my computer won't let me?)

Can someone please tell all of us that we're not God?

It's scary sometimes when I think of the world that I live in.  It's overwhelming, heart-palpating kind of freaky.  I'm becoming more and more convinced that all of this social media biz (blogs included! ..dang it) perpetuates an idea for each individual that he or she is god.  Actually.  Increasingly over the years, as new technology has sprouted of the ground (where all good technology comes from), we're all distanced ourselves from each other a liiiiiiitle more.  We connect in such a different way than people did 50, even 20 years ago.

Embarrassingly enough, sometimes I'm afraid to call my friends because that seems "too personal".  Whaaat?!  That's bogus but it's honestly how I feel.

And all of this distance is turning people a little bit apathetic, a whole lot narcissistic.  Think about it.  Your world revolves closer and closer around yourself.  And we lose community.  Everything becomes relative.  You can post pictures of a campaign for abortion rights and a video to spread awareness for child soldiers in Uganda right next to each other.  It's so, so relative.  You can say whatever you want, criticize whoever you want, bully whoever you want.  You can be whoever you want ( in a bad, bad way).

We are only devoted to what interests us.  We live in that instant world.  And in the midst of the instant and relative we find it hard to be compassionate.  My goodness, we have some egos.  To think that we could kill the planet.  The same people that say that the earth has been around for millions of years are the same ones who say that if we don't stop polluting, the earth is going to crumble!  Millions of years and WE force Mother Nature out of existence?  Pleeeeease tell me you're kidding.  We decide the difference between a miracle baby and a nuisance, one gets the nursery the other gets the garbage can.  We're really that evolved?  Determining the worth of whatever-you-want-to-call-it-which-ends-up-being-a-child?  We're qualified?

Then we must be qualified for pretty much everything.  And if that's the case, and nothing is above us-nothing too far out of our grasp-then we must be god.  And a comfortable god at that.  Still seated in our warm home, we save thousands of children with a click of a button.  We did good.  Another day of helping humanity.  Thank god us for us.

This day, in world news...

I grocery shopped for 3 hours.

I was getting so hungry by the end of it that I ended up with 4 bags of chips in my cart and kept going into the same aisles over and over again because I forgot numerous items.

I purchased some zucchinis though!  I'm attempting to make zucchini lasagna because, well noodles have wheat, in fact they are made up of basically wheat, and from now until we celebrate Jesus and the Easter Bunny, no none of that for me.

My mom has her doubts about what this is going to taste like.  And she won't let me put mushrooms in it.  But really I'm dreaming of making candy sushi and popcorn cake.  Bright, spring stuff.  Stuffed in my mouth.

But in the spirit of trying new things, I made a smoothie tonight.  (Also, alfredo sauce from scratch but I'm not sure that's impressive.)  Yes sir, I have never before made a smoothie.  We've had a blender for who knows how long and it has never been used until tonight.  Tonight everything changes.  I made a pretty standard smoothie (I even bought straws in preparation for the festivities!), shared it with my dad and watched the Israeli prime minister give his speech in America.  It reminded me of the times when families gathered around the radio to listen to the news.  I even asked my dad, "Is the whole world watching this?"  It felt like it.  But the entire evening's events may have been heightened by the fact that, girl please, I just made a smoothie.

My C.S. Lewis book has not shipped yet but I'm not worried.  Oh, and the speech tonight has caused me to get stuck in memory lane-rush hour traffic, no turning around.  I just want to high-tail it back to Israel and soak it all up again. After Easter.  So I can make a pit stop in Italy and actually eat some homemade alfredo sauce.  Amen.

I'm loving whoever first invented the idea of a list.

A little Lent update: I'm sincerely enjoying the amount of hymns & choruses that I've been singing lately now that I've forgone love songs until Easter.  I must admit though, when I flip through the iPod it's hard to pass by Adele without hesitating.  Sorry girl, I'll be back.  I've also noticed how much of my music, how much of music in general, is written for or about romantic love.  One (albeit, powerful) part of any person's life.  There's so many other things to talk sing about!

Speaking of which... here's the March list of things I want to accomplish.

1.  Continue cooking more often for the famjamily.  Go that extra mile and research recipes (thank goodness for All Recipes and that stupid Pinterest site), and then print them off, and then try them, and then find out what works and what should never have been printed.  I've realized that when it comes to things like cooking, I'm a better prepared than spontaneous chef.  I feel like I'm better at throwing things together when I bake, but if I cook specifically for other people, I want to know what I'm doing.  I would like to get to place where I could just pull things out and play mad scientist.

2.  Record that "baking" song you wrote just last month.  Do it for the fun of it.   BAM.  Maybe it will even cultivate some brother-seester bonding.  (My brother has a plethora of recording equipment.)

3.  Read my first C.S. Lewis book.  If you know who he is then you're ashamed of me.  Sorry man.  I think I was the only one in my Bible school class that hadn't read any of his works, and two years later, I'm still that girl.  But not much longer!  I ordered an anthology of his most famous works.  Bow-chicka-wow-wow, what up.

4.  Take a family photo, make an Easter card, and actually send it to people.  Step one was accomplished (with some hostility) earlier today.  Cards were made on the jazziest card making site out there.  Hurrah!  It's typically Friesenly casual.  I shouldn't have expected more (but I did, a little).  Anyways, I'm thrilled that there is actually a card to speak of (even if only virtual at this point).

5.  Go to the retirement home at least one Thursday to sing with the elderly.  This intimidates me!  But I genuinely think that this is one of those fears that should be faced.  I imagine that I will actually enjoy it once I've had the opportunity to experience it.

6.  Clean both dressers, bookshelves, and night table.  Get rid of anything that is no longer useful, tattered, or a hindrance to your relationship with God.  This is tricky.

7.  Send flowers to the secretaries at the high school.  You know, they were always such a friendly bunch to me when I was in school, and I don't think I ever properly thanked them.

8.  Do laundry!  And other such activities that you would be forced to do if you lived on your own.   It's actually something to be embarrassed about.  My mom does the vast, vast majority of the housework.  I really want to improve in this area!  One day I'll be on the other side of the ironing board and I hope I can sow some good seeds before then.

So there's the granddaddy list.  Simple, doable, but all of them take effort and initiative.  I managed to complete everything (except for a thorough cleaning of the car... and I didn't exactly cook twice a week... but OTHER THAN THAT.. oh yeah, big time completed) on my February list.  Detail helps.

Cheers to facing fears.