I was just in the middle of making my dinner (okay fine, cutting up strawberries) to pack for work tonight when I remembered that I wanted to write on this.
So, a few days ago my brother and I had another confrontation. I don't remember how it started, a comment about Lady Gaga, a comment about my cereal-it really could have been anything. Well, it turned into a bit of an emotionally charged conversation. We have always seen the world very differently. And by the end of the conversation I was in tears, telling him that it made me sad that he couldn't see me as anything more than a "liberal". That's the box he puts me in and I think it's so stupid. It actually enrages me because he does not know me and for someone who could be such a supportive figure in my life doesn't even think taht my ideas, my perspective is anything but "liberal", which he thinks is the worst thing ever. He actually asked me to denounce my liberal status. First of all, that is weird and kind of cult-ish? Second.. I can't even explain how dumb that sounds and how upset it makes me. I told him that I was sad that we didn't have a better relationship and then he explained to me that I was a person who believes in minimum wage (and I'm not sure that I do...I haven't really done my research) and laid out the facts as to why that concept wasn't beneficial and we could simply never see eye-to-eye. He answered my plea for a relationship with an economic analogy. And he finished by telling me that my lifestyle was basically a waste of time and that I was going to "love people all the way to Hell". But everything happens for a reason. Our relationships are given to us for a reason. I know that in the end, we both want the same thing. It's just sad to think that we can't accept eachothers' terms for how to get there. So that was a rough conversation. It makes me a little bit more indifferent to him in some ways, which is bad. He's my only sibling.
And then, I finished editing the book and asked my friend to edit it (she went to school for that kind of thing) and I found out that she's moving after living here for two years. What timing hey? So I've been trying to figure out how I would get all of this worked out, how this would actually happen. And I realized.. what makes you think that YOU can't just do it all? Maybe you don't need an editor, a publisher, a someone else. Maybe God's words are enough and you don't have to have a published author, but just a girl with something important to say. If the book isn't perfect, that just further proves how flaws can be used for powerful things. So instead of making the book a huge production, maybe I can just throw it out there for whoever is supposed to read it. I really like that idea. Simple. So that's what I'm excited about right now! And the fact that the Canucks are 2-1 in the final series right now. Ow, ow!
And one final thing. This afternoon I went to get groceries for my momma and my car was on empty but there's a gas bar at the grocery store so I decided to head there after finishing my shopping and parked the car. Well, when I got back in the car it failed to start. I ran to the gas bar and told one of the girls working there (who I happen to know) and we pushed my car to the fuel pumps. Hilarious. I love it when those kinds of things happen (conditionally-I wouldn't love it if I was running late for something, for instance). So I filled up the car with the money that my mother graciously gave to me and was ready to be on my way when.. oh wait.. the car still wouldn't start. I thought I was in big trouble. Big financial trouble. My brother (the same one I just talked about) drove into town to see what the problem was. And he didn't know and we were actually going to park it when a man came to help us. He boosted it (the battery worked fine, so I didn't think that would help) and that was that! He certainly didn't have to stop and spend his time on helping a stranger.
So, whatever it is that you are convicted of, whatever makes you passionate, continue on that path and listen to others' opinions but keep your focus. That's your path. And know that if God calls you to do something, he will equip you with all of the tools necessary to perform the task-with excellence. Have faith that wit him you can do anything. And finally, help those you see in need, and when it becomes your turn, don't be too proud to accept help.
And I've been having some killer dinner parties lately. I will try to post some pictures soon! There's one left-Asian themed. I'm busting out the fake acrylic nails. Crouching tiger, hidden dragon.
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