Somewhere in between Beyonce and Tina Fey is fine by me.

I have three grey hairs on my head.  I sported my first one when I turned 17.  I've never done a cartwheel in my life.  And some days I feel like I'm living in neutral-not falling apart, but not exactly progressing either.  That's the worst place, I think.  If you're going downhill at least it's obvious that something needs to change.  When you're in neutral, it's harder to put your finger on exactly what is making you feel so inadequate.  Or so useless.  Or so lazy.  Whatever it happens to be. 

But then I remember that I actually have a mandate.  There are things that I am supposed to do.  Why is my book still sitting on my computer and not on your nightstand?!  Mmm, not sure.  There is this woman that I want to be, this courageous, big-hearted woman, who is wildly independent but nurturing in spirit and I wonder how I become that woman.  But that woman is me.  I'm already her, just needing to exercise those wildly independent muscles.  You become something when you do it, over and over again.  With practice, it becomes part of your character. So you are capable of whatever it is that you want to.  In fact, that's exactly what you are supposed to do.  You just have to get there.  Start doing it.  Because, no, you're not Beyonce-but whatever it is that you like about her is what you already possess inside of you.  You just have to access it. 

And live life with a sense of urgency, because minutes turn into days which turn into years pretty quickly.  And what have you done with those minutes?  It's not okay (and I'm speaking to myself) to waste the days away when you don't want to.  When you are not content to watch the television all afternoon or take a nap that you didn't need, you are depriving your character.  Rest is necessary.  So is relaxing.  But Tina Fey didn't become one of SNL's best writers by sleeping away her days.  You have to live, even when it's not the easy thing to do.  Because that's when character is built.  That's when you realize that you are exactly who you want to be.

And I'm not size six.  Or married.  Or the world's best mother.  Well-known or wise.  But I'll get there if that's what I want and if I work for it.