That moment.

That realization at 2:27 in the morning that "this is what I'm made for", that moment is what  I should strive for every day.

That moment that is worth sacrificing sleep for because it tunes you in with a God that so cleverly (too cleverly for full comprehension) placed each part of you in such a way as to fulfill the plans he has for you. 

That is the air I breathe.  And the rest is toxic, makes me sick.

And by some kind of speechless grace, I'm alive.  Against all odds, breathing. 

Monster chip madness

For some unforseen and stupid reason, I've started this new habit. 

Every time (as in the last four of four times) I'm in the grocery store I make my way through the list-thick or thin-and then, as if I'm pulled by some unspeakable galatic force I make a sharp turn and zoom into the chip aisle.  And it's always the same thing. 

Ketchup chips.

Lays ketchup chips.

What?! 

I don't really understand this phenomenon.  Chips aren't my favourite thing but for some reason every shopping session ends with me, in the car, ripping open the bag of chips and absolutely demolishing all that I can before I get home.  It's weird but I'm not sure how to stop it.  I am propelled to the chip aisle!  For no other reason than ketchup!  I didn't even have chips on the list!

So, that's today's shopping chronicle.  Annnnnnd I almost bought a magazine strictly because Beyonce was on it (glittery and great).  And I almost bought a wedding magazine because it was so thick and dare I say juicy.  I didn't.  I bought those dumb chips though.  

Help me.

A message is always delivered if God wills it.

Finally!  I was in a boat today.  That's a first of the summer, and sadly, probably the last.  But hey, I got in.  I didn't even go fishing but I sported a lifejacket so I can go ahead and check that off the summer checklist.

In other pending accomplishments, I have an interview with the local paper tomorrow and the local radio station the next day.  No big deal.  This is local stuff.  It's not the hardest thing in the world to get in the paper.  BUT.. this is for the book.  A book I wrote.  So I'm supposed to be the expert on whatever I said.. and sometimes I can't even remember what I said!!  That seems bad to me.  So while I'm actually freaking out a little bit because "what if they ask me complicated and challenging questions while I'm live on the air", I remember that it is the Holy Spirit who will give me the words to say.  No worries.  God's got this.  So instead of rehearsing captivating answers in front of my mirror (which I did for 30 seconds while I was in the car today), I'm deciding instead to spend that time reading the Bible and praying for guidance, that I might be a vessel. 

So, in light of that, I will let my words be few. 

So I guess this makes me CEO?

So this morning I attempted to self-photograph pictures of myself playing the piano, balancing a spinning globe while sitting cute-sy on my worn red futon.  Awkward.  My brother aka my manager-regarding-all-things-book-and-actually-any-side-projects-involved-with-said-book told me that I had to make myself an EPK.  (Electronic press kit if you're not familiar with the term... I wasn't)  This consists of a biography (written by me in third person), a mission statement (probably not everyone has a mission statement in their kit, but given the nature of the kind of press I want to attract, it's probably important) and lastly.. some photos.  We eat with our eyes!  They need to see the product (the book) in some creatiave context (... cue the spinning globe). 

We had a family meeting last Saturday regarding the book over some oatmeal rapsberry pancakes and peanut butter chocolate sauce.  Pan fries were also present.  And I realized what I actually already knew.. I'm not good with the numbers!  I would rather just not talk about the numbers.  I would rather leave all of those logistics kind of questions unanswered, just shrug them off.  That's why someone like my brother is key.  Because I wouldn't make myself a EPK.  I would just assume that people would.. come.. to... me?  I'm not actually sure, but I definitely didn't really have much of an action plan.  But self-timer photos.  That's a little tricky!  No flash!  Natural light.

So this morning I stayed in my kitten and puppy moo moo, threw on a mustard yellow cardigan, left the top buttons open ('cause that's inviting), tried to wipe some shine off my shiny face, decided not to put any make up on or brush my teeth (they'll never know) and thought up scenarios that would make good photos.  "Oven mitts!"  "Next to the hymnals on the piano!"  "Fork and knife as a bookmark!"  I'm not really sure why I'm giving away all my secrets.  Now you're going to see the photos and laugh because... I wasn't kidding!  But it's this cool little weird process that I'm enjoying thus far.  I'm definitely considering and will likely be buying my own domain name.  I'll put the blog on it, don't fret.  I would like to bring things together.  Blog, videos, book, all in one place.

On another note, I'm getting a zit the size of an angry boil on the side of my neck right now.  And I'm getting closer and closer to paying off my tuition from my infamous time spent at TWU.  And I've been trying to not eat wheat for awhile now and things like "All Girls' Potluck" keep intefering with it.  I'm proud to say that a good number of my friends can really throw down in the kitchen.

On a completely different note, I looked for prices for skydiving in Vancouver (because I'll be there at the end of the month! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!) and when the lady said "It would be in your best interest to choose the $259 option" I kissed my "best interest" good-bye.  Slightly disheartening but overall I'm absolutely thrilled to be back in the GVA for a few days.